Katie Couric Is The New Kathie Lee

So it seems Katie Couric will be departing 'The Today Show' and heading into primetime via the CBS Evening News anchor chair.

Circle April Fourth on your calendar as the beginning-of-the-end of Katie's broadcast career.

Hollywood Thoughts has been waiting for this moment since the world was rid of Kathie Lee Gifford.

Hey, we like The Today Show-- it's just that we prefer our NBC morning shows without Katie.

HT finds her over-rated, over-compensated and off-putting with her self-important attitude.

We also think she's outgrown the whole network force-fed 'Katie' schtick-- it's time to start using her given name (Katherine) and behave like a grown-up journalist. We don't mean to imply ageism, it's just that the 'corporate perk' marketing scheme is cheesy. And embarassing. And fake. She's nearly fifty...

Here's the schedule for Katie's road trip to obscurity:

After weeks of syrupy, overwrought montage moments set to the theme of "Brokeback Mountain," Katie will leave Rockefeller Center, and head for Black Rock.

Katie will last for roughly a year (maybe two) before steadily declining ratings will force Moonves & Company to protect their investment, and pull her from the nightly schedule. Primetime viewers simply won't want to get their news from the 'serious Katie,' and perky don't play in the anchor chair. A conundrum for anyone on the top floors at Television City. Katie will say that she needs more time with her kids-- and that today's anchors need to get out of the studio to remain relevant (a'la Bob Woodruff)... and that's not something she can do as a Mother to two kids.

Enter Bob Schieffer as the interim CBS Evening News anchor where he will slowly raise ratings (just like he did in '05 & '06).

Keep with me...

CBS will next announce that Katie will appear in a self-titled afternoon talk show (perhaps, "Kidd'in Around With Katie!").

It'll last a year.

At this point, Katie will be nearing the end of her (projected) three year deal with CBS-- just in time for her to announce a semi-retirement (at least from day-and-date programming). CBS will offer to extend her deal with a contract to do specials on their cable outlet, VH-1.







Just in time for a 2009 holiday sing-along with Kathie Lee...




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ADDED THOUGHTS:

Our friend, Ray Richmond at Past Deadline has intiated a contest. The rules are simple: create a new word to describe Katie's new form of CBS 'spunk.'

I vote for "Spunkerly"-- a combo of 'spunky' and 'elderly.' A spunky elder.

"Spunkorate" also comes to mind-- a sort of corporate sponsored/manufactured 'spunkiness' (it also reminds me of the word, 'expectorate' which is something you do when you don't like the taste of something... and I have the feeling that once 'Katherine' hits the anchor chair, Americans will rise-up with a giant, "Pahtoowie!").