Thursday, April 27, 2006

Pentecostals: Say What?!?



Here's a thought:

There's a huge convention of Pentecostal Christians descending upon Los Angeles this week.

As the LA Times put it, Pentecostals are, "...known for their spontaneous, fervent, style of worship and praying aloud."

Some like to incorporate live snakes into their praying.

They also speak in tongues.

Whatever works, right?

But why L.A.?

Los Angeles, it seems, is considered the cradle of the worldwide Pentecostal movement (why do I get the feeling that the folks in the red states wouldn't be surprised to learn that fact?).

Here's my question: Why a convention? Whose idea was this?!?


As I understand it, there's no codified 'Language of Pentecostals.' Everyone has their own way of communicating with The Big Guy (or, for you DaVinci-Code-Sacred-Feminine-loving folks, 'The Big Gal').

If that's the case, how does any work get done at this conference? How do you network? Swap revelations?

I can only imagine what a typical conversation would sound like out on the convention floor...

Believer #1: 'Hello!'

Believer #2: 'Howdy... uh... Yeeeurrrp! Jesus leather nostril!'

Believer #1: 'Cha-cha-cha... damnation in the tulip patch. Bleeeeooop! Evil the dog's eyes are!'

And then they're off to the 10am snake handling panel.

Please, God, tell me Jodie Foster's "chickie-chaw-chaw" character from 'Nell' was this year's keynote speaker...

:::

More info at: www.azusastreet.com

28 Comments:

At 5:37 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

As a pentecostal let me tell you we do not deal with snakes!!!!
And we do not speak like morons.
I'm not familiar with conventions in LA but the pentecostal conventions I go to involve churchgoers, members pastor etc coming together for fellowship, worship and outreach.
we have worksops on how to contribute more to the community and reach their needs, How to be more sensitive to the needs of others and so on.

 
At 1:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Glad to see Ms Dee is involved in outreach.

It's slightly strange that she doesn't have knowledge of the Pentecostal usage of snakes during church meetings. Of course not all Pentecostal sects use snakes during worship, but one only need google "pentecostal snakes" and you'll immediately get several hundreds of hits documenting this practice.

 
At 1:25 PM, Blogger DodgerJon said...

Apologies if I made it sound as though Pentecostals are morons.

Clearly, they are not. They are -- at least it seems to me -- very devout persons.

However (from an outsiders point of view, at least), the language that is spoken during a church service seems VERY different from what is usually heard walking down the street on any given day. Sentences seem to not make sense from the perspective of 'normal english language usage.' Would you agree?

 
At 10:39 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Convintion sucked canel water in my opinyon.But how do you talk to 160 nations with one micraphone?I had prayed for a word from the lord. But he remained silent.I did see one girl ther with the JOY of the LORD all over her.That made it all worth having a convention. OHIO DAVE

 
At 11:54 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

As a 1 God, Apostlic, tongue talking holy rolling born again believer of the liberalrated power of Jesus name PENTECOSTAL, we don't handle snakes. There is a lot of false prophets in the last days that you will have to be careful what & who you listened to. The Bible speaks about false prophets. In my church, we are experiencing GOD'S power like never before. We had an exangelist to come and preach for us, prior to the service he was feeling bad but said that he didn't want to let the devil win; so he preached. During the whole time he is preaching, he is struggling. My pastor tried several times to see if he needed to stop that, that would be fine. The preacher said, No and wanted to keep on with the sermon. Well toward the end and even after sitting in a chair while preaching, my pastor, being a registered nurse saw that there was some thing serious going on. Well then the exangelist went into cardiac arrest. No pulse, nothing. My pastor started CPR and during this time, the church started praying and my pastor was fixing to do mouth to mouth and the exangelist came to and then went out again. While the paramedics was on their way , a thought of God came to my pastor's wife and she told the exangelist's wife to "LOOSE THINE HAIR" and she did and laid her hair over her husband's body and started travailing for his soul to be spared and immediately the exangelist's came to and his pulse was strong than ever. The evangelist said that he could feel his spirit leaving his body and could hear the voice of God. Through praying and been obeident to God, he performed a miracle before my church. Everything that we may have questions about and need to know is in God's word, THE BIBLE". God is the same yesterday,today, and forever.

 
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