Saturday, February 17, 2007

Britney Spears Has A Shaved Head & A New Tattoo



Honestly, with a headline like that, I don't think there's much more to say.

But why do I care? I don't... except that all of this happened not much more than 500 feet from my backdoor.

See, when I came home tonight, there were twenty to thirty photographers lurking in the alley across from my garage door. I soon found out they were paparazzi stalking Ms. Brit who was inside the slightly tattered buzz-parlor known as "Body + Soul."

Hey, a celebutard right in my backyard. Literally.

I decided to take a look. Who cares if the hot turkey melt I just picked-up from the Mel's Diner would be reduced to a congealed mess of gouda on cold poultry meat? I smelled a story... and I JUST HAD to be an investigative reporter for my readership.



I went around to the front of the place, and was quickly engulfed by a mob of nearly a hundred twenty-somethings. But, LOOK! There she is! I spotted my quarry: a now bald-headed, trash talking, newly inked mother-of-two. Ooops, she just did it again.

Who the hell is watching after the kids while Mama is running around without panties or hair??!!??

Ah, hell... at least the new 'do has Brit's carpet matching her drapes. If you know what I mean.

With her wrist newly etched with a pair of red lips, and a completely cut down pate, she definitely looks like the type that would man the drive-thru next to Kevin whats-his-name on the fry machine* (*please review the Federline Super Bowl commercial if you're having a tough time following the line of thought here). Maybe she was celebrating her one day of sobriety after her short -- but successful? -- stint in rehab.



Bottom line? Well, let's just say I don't quite understand people that still wonder why home values are slipping here in the 'hood...

630 Comments:

At 2:52 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

THE WOMAN HAS LOST CONTROL SHE
BETTER TAKE HEED IN ALL THE GOINGS
ON OR SHE WILL END UP LIKE ANNA
NICHOLE SMITH/.............I FEEL
FOR THE BABES AT HOME.
TIME TO GROW UP AND BE RESONSIBLE OR
SHE WILL LOOSE THOSE BABIES...

 
At 4:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think she had one to many and needs to go back in re-hab. She now looks like shit

 
At 5:21 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

DAVEONHUDSON

 
At 5:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

She has lost her mind - what happens to these rich young brats?

 
At 5:44 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Those poor little boys.....KFed isn't looking like a bad influence compared to this nut job now!

 
At 8:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

if she keeps this up she'll be doing porn by july...I can't wait...I just hope she wears a wig in them though

 
At 10:40 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Knock it off Dan.You have access to plenty of porn already.And the way things are going, you'll probably need a wig by July.

 
At 12:16 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm amazed that the tat parlor gave her the tattoo... since all reports have her off her rocker.

But like a massive train wreck... one can't quite look away.

 
At 6:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I feel sorry for this girl ; she needs someone in her family to intercede and help her out of this tailspin. Brittany is headed for oblivion and has no clue how to get herself out of this, obviously.She must be forced into a rehab situation for a few weeks, at least, to regain her bearings, ; if she has any. It's starting to look pretty bad for her, also she must realize that she will lose her children soon if she does not comply with a normal behavioral change. gOOD LUCK, brittany, you are a little lost soul.

 
At 10:10 AM, Anonymous msmeg said...

What was she thinking? I would love to know!

 
At 11:21 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i'd still hit it

 
At 4:10 PM, Anonymous Dave Jowlles said...

YES!!!! This is hot!!! Shaved heads are part of the answer! She needs more tattoos and more piercings and then we'll have progress in this world. Thank you britney! I like you now.

 
At 4:39 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ooooops.....she's done it again, again! She needs to admit she's a has-been.

 
At 4:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a retard. I think she has lost her mind. I feel so sorry for her children.

 
At 5:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

parenting is difficult and being a celebrity just makes it harder. Rather than criticize, offer solutions for her problems...she's bound to pick up a couple of them.

 
At 6:11 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yea for Britney!
Donate all that hair to "Locks of Love"
Battle ON!

 
At 6:25 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is the side effects of hanging out with Paris Hilton. Nicole became a stick and Britney's a skin head.

 
At 6:41 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This child is obviously in a lot of pain. The whole world is staring and she may be suffering from post-partum depression. Get off of her back and let's get this girl some help for her and her kid's sake. Maybe she didn't want to leave her marriage but was listening to all of the people that hang on to celebs. Anyway, I hope she gets better and I'm not even one of her fans.

 
At 7:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you really look at her face. She is not all that.

 
At 7:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Best. T-shirt.Ever. 'bout Britney
'EVERYONE LOVES A SHAVED GIRL'...
from Moe Wampum. OMFG!

http://moeschwag.com/eloshgibrt.html

 
At 9:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

She needs an intervention. Her family needs to get a respected doctor/therapist to take her in and help her. If it's drugs, then re-hab, too. Once she's out of the woods, she needs help with parenting skills, daily therapy and a new manager and publicist who will keep her out of the spotlight for a year while she finds her footing. The year would be a good time for professional training -- not just dancing, singing and acting -- but speaking and presenting herself in public. Many artists have fallen and left for has-been. She can pull herself out of this, but she needs honest, no kiss-ass help. I would also suggest yoga teacher training with Bikram -- he'll kick her butt into shape in no time. Self Realization Fellowship is also a must.

 
At 9:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

She was out of the spotlight for a few weeks,I guess that is too long for her. She isn't troubled she is just an attention-seeking b*tch. All eyes on Britney ppl! Ugly a** freak.

 
At 10:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Britney who gives a rats ass what you do. You are britney and can do anything you freakin want!!Live it up your only going to live once.

 
At 6:20 AM, Anonymous Chad said...

Brit fans line up, it's the first ever Bald Brittney Myspace layout.... I'm sorry, I could not resist.

 
At 9:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I guess we'll have to put up with her kids one day too...I hope they have more common sense than their mom.

 
At 9:42 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i think that brittney spears is a bad infulence on young kids today an we should be worried!

 
At 9:46 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i feel sorry for this girl it is clear that she needs help.she better live her life as i comes because she only lives once.by the way you like retared.but maybe people will still love your blad head,if they can see themselves.

 
At 11:59 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wait, when did shaving your head make you crazy?

 
At 3:26 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

so much for her making a comback!!

 
At 9:34 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

She has about as much talent and class as she has hair on her head.

 
At 12:12 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

what the hell is wrong with you people? She shaved her head. Big fucking deal. That doesn't make her a bad mom or even crazy. So fuck off and come to terms with the fact that not everyone fits into your princess/surburban/prom queen stereotypes of normality.

 
At 12:12 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

what the hell is wrong with you people? She shaved her head. Big fucking deal. That doesn't make her a bad mom or even crazy. So fuck off and come to terms with the fact that not everyone fits into your princess/surburban/prom queen stereotypes of normality.

 
At 4:57 AM, Blogger ArtzGirl said...

I must be "ahead" of the fashion curve. Just shaved my own head-- about 4 months ago--- after a chemical melt-down while going from Platnum Hair to Red---- Back to Platnum. It literally Melted-- my Hair. When I saw and felt the texture of the hair--- there was literally NOTHING I could do-- except go to the bathroom and shear my head.

This was a hugely "Liberating" experience. It was thrilling, exciting--- and a Total "Ego Bust"--- All rolled into one experience. No wonder that monks-- and the military require that their members shave their heads... it is hugely "Leveling".

----------

Feel that Brittany will grow a lot from this experience. It is a clear sign of having to "go inward".... because truly--- the majority of people do not look good completely "bald". Brittany is a beautiful woman--- but no one looks their best with their head shaved.

-----------

I am also a singer-- and have used Wigs and Costumes throughout my performances and competitions. This was a great chance to pull out the wigs-- and begin experimenting with different colors, lengths, textures (curly or straight)....

She is now Wigging Out....
Will probably have great fun with that!

I have loved that--- it has been so liberating!
Love and Adore Wigs!

---------

She will probably start a whole new Fashion Craze!
It has been greatly Fun for me!

So glad that I had an excuse to experiment with Wigs! It has been extremely Fun--- I may never go back to my own hair again!

 
At 5:05 AM, Blogger ArtzGirl said...

Britany's Not Crazy...

I've "been there too"---
Shaved my head 4 months ago-- when I chemically assaulted my hair--- going from Platnum to Red-- back to Platnum. It literally Melted the Hair. Didn't really have a choice but to shave the hair and move forward because the texture of the hair was that of "cotton candy"---- and was literally glued together in the back of my head.

I would much rather have NO Hair...
Than hair that looks and feels unhealthy.

I'm also a singer-- sometimes going to extremes with Hair-- can be just the thing to set your act apart from others.

It has been a wonderful experience--- because I'd always worn wigs for my performances-- and this suddenly opened the door for me to wear wigs all of the time! I love Wigs! This has been like doing a Sociology Experiment-- because I wear different shades, lengths, and textures (curly or straight). It has been extremely Fun--- and Liberating!

Feel that Wigs are certainly "Coming Back"--- and feel that Britany may push it completely to the front of Fashion Again!

Love Wigs!
I highly recommend it!

Shaving your head can be liberating-- and definitely makes you a much stronger person.

Feel that Britany will only grow from it!

 
At 7:41 AM, Blogger Kelly said...

all you haters out there need to give Britney a break. If she is going crazy let her deal on her own time.I'm sure any one of you have gone of the deep end a time or 2. I know from my own personal experiance I totally have.In other wors check your self before you judge

 
At 7:52 AM, Blogger Kelly said...

GIVE ME A BREAK!!! actuallygive britney a break. Shes going through a rough spot, she needs to heal with out all the people following her around and being so negitive. I'm sure u all have had a melt down a time or two.Britney is strong she will get through this,as long as she gets a little bit of positive support

 
At 10:43 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

All that hair was weave anyway. The hairstylist said that Brit seemed happy to get rid of all that crap on her head.

 
At 10:45 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

All that shit was weave anyway. I saw an interview with the hairstylist on Headline News saying that she only had about 4 inches of real hair on her head. And she also said that Britney didn't seem like she was crazy.

Shit--I CAN'T STAND THE BITCH. But I think everybody needs to leave her alone on this one.

 
At 10:47 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Disregard one of the two other comments before this one. My wireless network timed out and I thought it got deleted. My bad.

 
At 2:44 PM, Anonymous Britney said...

Britney is going thro a bad moment. and her exposure makes it more dificult. poor britney spears :)

 
At 3:29 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jesus Christ! Britney Spears is bald!!! Motherfucker!

Once, a long time ago, an ex of mine decided (while on an acid trip) to completly shave his chest and pubic hair, therefore making him look like a little boy. Just imagine what kind of crazy psycho trip Britney was on when she took the plunge!! What a freaking raging lunatic!

And for all these Britney lovers trying to get people to feel for their little princess, wake the fuck up! Who on this little planet is going to feel for an over-spoiled brat like her? She has money up to her neck, fans all across the world, two kids and Paris Hilton as a friend! Who could ask for more?

And what a moronic way to act while she's fighting for the possession of her children! She's an unfit mother, constantly putting her children in harm's way and putting their futurs at risk! Honestly, I think that Kfed might be a better parent than she ever was. At least, the kids could grow up to be pimps and players, instead of turning into crystal meth hillbilly junkies. Amen.

Anyway, I hope Madonna and the rest of Kaballah shun her.

Pascale

 
At 5:51 PM, Blogger L. Meyer said...

HONESTLY, LEAVE THE GIRL ALONE.
HASN'T ANYONE STOP TO REALIZE SHE'S HUMAN.
SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH HER. BUT LET HER TRY TO GET THE HELP THAT SHE NEEDS. JUST BECAUSE SHE IS FAMOUS DOES MEAN SHE IS NOT HUMAN.
ANY ONE EVER THINK THAT SHE MIGHT HAVE SOMETHING WRONG MENTALLY.

LET HER GET HELP AND LEAVE HER THE HELL ALONE.

 
At 11:34 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

brittany is so ugly now with a bald head. She looks like she has freakin CANCER!!!!!! Why did she even do that?

 
At 11:39 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

OMG! She is human but no human goes and shaves their head bald because she's in freakin rehab. Why would a singer go and shave their head bald when everyone is gonna know about it and talk crap about her maybe she just likes being talked about . What if her kid was a little older and was embaressed because her mom shaved her head bald!

 
At 2:07 PM, Anonymous Shar said...

Well, Britney you sure gone done messied this S**t up, she was my favorite ever since i was just a little girl but after alomost dropping her cute child and THIS i think im losing it all!! Sorry, but i think its time for help before its to late!!!

 
At 4:16 AM, Anonymous Gabi, Romania said...

People comment too much on the effects of her actions rather then on the causes. She needs help, but she also must accept it! I don't think that there is a man in her life that deserves her sacrifice. This is too much. And she deffinently does'nt act like this just for publicity. She had all the attention upon her. So, Britney, think of you and your children!!! And come back with your music. I want to listen your greatest hit. You can do more then that.

 
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At 10:26 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

From whaT I was told she wasn't getting the attention and fam she's used to so she pulled this stupid stunt thinkin this would make name back in lights when really she's makin it her self look bad and most of all setting a horrible example for her children!!!!!!!!!!
P/S: If she wanted that much attention, why she didn't just come out with some more perfume, lotion, or maybe even a clothing line?

 
At 1:24 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know what it is like to be a single mom with one child, let alone 2. I think that everyone needs to ease up a bit on her. Just think how you would be like if your marrige failed and you found out all of your friends really wern't your friends. I am so glad that everyone can find someones else's heart ach funny. I hope that when you have someting horrible happen to you that people will look at you and laugh and make sure that you fill like crap. This is the time where people are telling her to grow up, but the people that write the disrespectful comments need to do the same. I fill for her she is an amazing person and i know she will do what is right for her kids. This is they time where just because it's not right does not mean we have to point it out. she will live with her mistakes the rest of her life! Just leave her be.

We love you brit

 
At 7:20 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ok Britt, if you thought your hair was unhealthy wash it!! Why would you leave you children at home by themself!! They would be worryed!! Heres a tip: get back to yourself get off drugs[or watever your on] and dont be CRAZY!!!

 
At 7:22 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Brittany you were a pretty girl and a very good singer, grow your hair back, love your children and people will love you!!

 
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