Saturday, February 17, 2007

Britney Spears Has A Shaved Head & A New Tattoo

Honestly, with a headline like that, I don't think there's much more to say.

But why do I care? I don't... except that all of this happened not much more than 500 feet from my backdoor.

See, when I came home tonight, there were twenty to thirty photographers lurking in the alley across from my garage door. I soon found out they were paparazzi stalking Ms. Brit who was inside the slightly tattered buzz-parlor known as "Body + Soul."

Hey, a celebutard right in my backyard. Literally.

I decided to take a look. Who cares if the hot turkey melt I just picked-up from the Mel's Diner would be reduced to a congealed mess of gouda on cold poultry meat? I smelled a story... and I JUST HAD to be an investigative reporter for my readership.

I went around to the front of the place, and was quickly engulfed by a mob of nearly a hundred twenty-somethings. But, LOOK! There she is! I spotted my quarry: a now bald-headed, trash talking, newly inked mother-of-two. Ooops, she just did it again.

Who the hell is watching after the kids while Mama is running around without panties or hair??!!??

Ah, hell... at least the new 'do has Brit's carpet matching her drapes. If you know what I mean.

With her wrist newly etched with a pair of red lips, and a completely cut down pate, she definitely looks like the type that would man the drive-thru next to Kevin whats-his-name on the fry machine* (*please review the Federline Super Bowl commercial if you're having a tough time following the line of thought here). Maybe she was celebrating her one day of sobriety after her short -- but successful? -- stint in rehab.

Bottom line? Well, let's just say I don't quite understand people that still wonder why home values are slipping here in the 'hood...

Monday, February 12, 2007

Cinderella Suite Sounds Sweet!

If you've ever dreamed of actually spending the night inside a Disney theme park, your wish has just come true. It's a part of Disney's "The Year of a Million Dreams" campaign.

Unused space within Orlando's Cinderella castle -- originally envisioned as in-park accommodations for the Disney family -- has been transformed into a "Cinderella Castle Suite." Each day, a specially selected Walt Disney World guest will be chosen randomly at the park for their special night in the newly outfitted (17th century-style) penthouse.

The guest (and up to five members of their party) can keep the castle lights burning bright into the night inside the suite that consists of a salon, bedchamber and bathroom (off a private marble-floored foyer).

Guests will discover a mosaic of the fairytale pumpkin coach in the foyer's marble floor inlay-- as well as a Steuben designed glass slipper.

A Disney press release states that despite all the
careful attention to centuries-old details, "...the
amenities of the Cinderella Castle Suite are
definitely 21st century. There's a lavish garden tub
plus a shower. As for an ornately framed,
17th-century-style portrait of Cinderella above a
regal fireplace in the bedchamber: it magically
changes into a modern, 21st-century flat-screen

As for guests to California's Disneyland park? The company has outfitted a special Mickey Mouse themed room at the Disneyland Hotel (outside of the magic kingdom).

Hollywood Thoughts wonders how long 'til a randy Prince and Princess are caught canoodling on a castle turret by early arrivals to the park?!?

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Judith Regan Is A Victim

I can't stand hearing the media pap excoriating Judith Regan for her role in the now "lost" O.J. Simpson project.

It's all a load of bull. More to the point, the ruckus is nothing more than whining and professional jealousy.

The nation's news outlets were all stung by Regan's amazing "get."

Does anyone truly believe that the media cares this much about safeguarding the public's sensitivity-- or is in a position to judge matters of taste?

If that's the case, where's the outcry over the latest Charlie Manson interview? How about the first sit-down with the Menendez brothers?

Now that Regan has been pushed-out of her Century City offices, I see that the New York Times no longer views Simpson's description of the murder scene as out-of-bounds. Curious.

I guess printing a leaked transcript of a book that no longer exists adds a gauzy layer of acceptability for the old gray lady. Curious.

Does anyone reading this know of someone that was truly offended by the announced, "If I Did It" project? I don't. Yet, if you read or listened to the daily dribble concerning the Regan/Murdoch firestorm, you would have walked away feeling that every citizen living in a blue or red state was moved to a vibrating fury over the "tasteless" Simpson project.

Who was outraged? Again, I don't know a single person that was upset over the impending printing. Natch-- I strongly suspect the only ones "outraged" were a bunch of angry -- and jealous -- news suits.

Regan's biggest problem is that she's upset a long list of folks who are envious over her success. This was their 'get back' moment. It's a shame we're still endorsing book burnings in this day and age. It would have been interesting to see how outrageous book sales would have been.

Regan's been a victim before, but she won't remain one for long.